My Give a Damn's Busted

I had my cycle day 10 ultrasound and E2 bloodwork this morning. I also had them check on my thyroid because I have been really feeling sluggish lately and I just felt like my thyroid must be really off. So my thyroid medication will be increased.

Follicle wise I have a 13, a 12 and an 11 (and for those that don't know, we want the follicles on the ovaries to be at an 18 before it should release an egg and they should grow about 2 mm a day if not more with the injections). Soooo, basically, we've got three potential eggs going on again even with the reduced follistim.

My E2 came back fine but just like I guessed my thyroid wasn't in a normal range. I am so glad that I had them check on that because it's so important to have normal thyroid levels when TTC and in pregnancy.

Because it's Thursday I am to do another dose of the 75 iu's of follistim tomorrow night and then do my trigger shots Sunday night. Because I have been responding so well to this cocktail of meds I don't even have to go in for another ultrasound. I am welcome to, of course, and can go in on Saturday or Sunday but Dr. Baby is comfortable having me continue as is without another ultrasound and bloodwork.

Something hit me last night... this cycle I am completely apathetic. I am making all the right moves and taking all the correct meds and doing my shots when I need to and following all the 'rules'. But... I just don't care. I literally wasn't worried about this morning's ultrasound. I mean, I was glad I didn't get bad news, but I wasn't excited like I have been in past cycles. I have been very 'eh' about it all.

I am not full of hope and optimism for this cycle and have in fact counted out the days to make sure that I can cycle in December and that Christmas will not interfere with me cycling. And I am good on that count. I can cycle in December without any interference from the Holidays.

I don't know if I am subconsciously protecting myself from the heartbreak of last cycle. I probably am. Because let's face it... I'm still recovering from that horrible let down and the complete idiocy I let my mind take me to.

Good news about being so apathetic is that I've barely been paying attention or obsessing at all. I've barely been able to keep track of my cycle days and had to set alarms on my phone to remind me when to do my injections and take my pills.

Hopefully, this bodes well for the two week wait. I hope that I remain sane through it all.

Overall, I did get good news today. I am just trying to find that place within where I give a damn.

Stick it to Me

It is cycle day 8.

I still am not sure what is happening in there with my ovaries but I feel like it is something good!

I have done two of my injections so far with one more tomorrow night.

So far the injections haven't been bad at all. There is some stinging when I take the needle out and my belly is bruised up pretty well; but other than that it has just been excitement to be more aggressive!

Since Thursday I have been feeling pretty consistently achy in the ovary area. I have felt this before during my cycle a few months ago when I did actually ovulate. But I only felt it in smaller doses and it was the night before my ultrasound (so around CD 12). So I am feeling it stronger and more consistently. I hope that means good things are happening in there!

I find out Wednesday morning how many follicles I have going on and if I need a day or two more of the Follistim.

I am hoping for 3. For several reasons... 3 is my favorite number. I don't know why, it just is and always has been. And I want 3 because I feel like 3 will significantly raise our chances but won't put us at too high a risk for multiples. Although multiples wouldn't be bad. I know my husband would be really, really happy with that! :)

I haven't really had any side effects this month from the femara or follistim except I've been feeling really, really tired. I want to nap all the time! And there was some slight nausea last night but only after about 4 spinny fast rides at a carnival.

Oh and did I mention that if this cycle works that my due date would be my husband's birthday?!?

How's that for a sign!?!?

I am happy and excited to see what happens!!!