Life is not Fair

This is something that I have come to realize more and more lately.

Obviously, it was something that I lamented over the long 21 months that the husband and I tried to conceive. It was often a battle cry for me, "This isn't FAIR!" and "Why me?!".

Now that I have achieved the goal of getting pregnant and everything seems to be going very well I am still asking the same questions.

I feel it isn't fair that I am here carrying my dream when there are so many of you out there who are not. My heart aches for all of you so much. I think when I was going through infertility myself my heart was aching too much for myself for there to be room for it to ache for all of you. And now I am here, heart breaking that so many of you haven't made it here yet.

I do believe that you will all have your families. I do. With everything in me I know that all of us will end up with our happy families in the end. One way or another. We're too determined and deserving. I just have to believe that this will happen for all of us. One way or another.

I just had to get this out. I had to let you all know that as happy as I am for myself (and make no mistake I am crazy happy for my good luck) I am still thinking of all of you and praying for you every single day. You are always in my thoughts and prayers and I am pulling for each and every one of you.

Waiting on You

So now that I survived (barely) the weekend of baby making (and yes I did survive! I am still kind of stuck on the couch with this neck shoulder thing going on, though) I have been planning on how I was going to survive the two week wait.

I dread the two week wait... I dread it and I want it at the same time. Because the two week wait means that I have something to hope for... it means there is a chance that in a few long ass short weeks all my dreams may come true. This two week wait is even more... everything, because I feel like our chances are so high this month.

One of the things that I do love so much about this time is dreaming about the possibilities with my husband. Out of nowhere one of us will start spouting off possible names and vetoing each other and laughing about what we hope so badly is soon to come! That's the fun part.

The other parts... not so much.

Originally, my plan was to just pretend that I wasn't in the two week wait. Hmmmm. I wonder how that will go for me.

My other plan is to cook and bake and try a bunch of new recipes I've been planning on trying for awhile. And that is a plan I can get behind.

A few weeks ago I made a joke about baking my way through Infertility... end result... huge ass. And the more I thought about it, I thought why not? Why not add a little something else to this little 'ol blog and keep myself busy at the same time? So that is what I will do.

Last year my husband got me a cookie jar for Valentine's Day.

This cookie jar is more than just a cookie jar. It's personalized and on it all our hopes and dreams are clearly displayed. One of my greatest fears is that this special gift will always be a reminder of what my body cannot achieve.

But for the next two weeks I am going to be filling this jar up with sweet treats and goodies just like I hope my belly is filling with our dreams for the future.