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Showing posts with label finding my place. Show all posts
Showing posts with label finding my place. Show all posts

Friday, December 17, 2010

Because We Can

The other day I was walking through Target and I let myself do something that I haven't let myself do in a very long time.

I walked through the baby section.

At first, as I walked through I felt sad because I just kept thinking about how badly I wanted to buy things from this section for myself and my baby.

And then I remembered... Oh yeah. I'm pregnant!

As I continued on through I really felt like an intruder. I felt like I was in trespassing and about to eat the forbidden fruit. I found myself glancing over my shoulder waiting for someone to tell me to get out because I obviously was not a mommy and not allowed. I felt like an intruder.

I reached out and was about to buy myself a plain pack of white onesies (gender neutral people) and I couldn't do it. I felt like I didn't deserve to buy something like that yet.

courtesy of google images

This pregnancy has not sunk in yet (despite the rapidly increasing morning sickness).

I don't feel like I belong in the pregnancy club.

But I don't feel like I belong in the infertility club either, anymore.

I feel like I am in a bit of a no man's land and I am hoping I find where I fit soon.

Sarah Q
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