Sunday, October 3, 2010

This is a man's world....

So my better half has asked me to give a viewpoint into the world of infertility from the eyes of a husband. To start maybe I should explain what being a husband means to me. As a husband I feel like it is my job to make my wife happy in every way that I can. That means the small things like taking out the trash without having to be asked, remembering to tell her how much I appreciate all the she does to keep our home up while I'm at work, or tucking her hair behind her ear before I give her a kiss. On the other hand there are all the big things as well. It is my job to protect her from all of the bad things of this world. If that means fighting a dragon with a pillow and some water balloons to keep her safe, then so be it. Well to me, this PCOS and infertility problem is even bigger than a dragon. It is like some mythical creature that I can't see, can't touch, and the only sound it makes is the muffled tears through a bathroom door at the passing of another month.

It's pretty hard to express in words how hard it is to see the most important person in the world to you suffer and fight against something. It is even worse to know that there is nothing you can do to fix it. I'm a fixer, I'm a fighter, I don't even know how to sit still when I get home from work exhausted, let alone while she is suffering like she does. And then there is the feelings she has of having to deal with everything alone because I can't understand what it's like, "To be broken", as she puts it. And the worst part is, she's correct, I can't understand how she feels, despite my desperately wanting to. So there is all of the wonderful fun of not being able to do my job as a husband.

Then you add to that the wanting a baby so bad I can't stand it. I've never loved anyone as much as I love my wife, and the thought of having children with her makes me so happy. And no matter how hard we try we can't seem to make a baby. And of course everyone we know is now having children, which only makes it even harder. All in all, this situation sucks for everyone. I just thought that maybe some of her readers may be interested in a brief view through the window into the life of infertility as a loving husband. This is a man's world.....or at least this is this man's world...


6 comments:

  1. Tears welling up for sure.... Loving the hubby!

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  2. He is a darling! You can feel his compassion through his words.

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  3. You are a wonderful husband she is very blessed to have someone like you with her during all of this and I know that the two of you will be able to finally have that baby you want so badly.

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  4. This is a beautiful post. It's refreshing to hear a husband's side of the story. So often they are forgotten in the infertility struggle.

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  5. Wow. Powerful post. Got me all choked up. You are so lucky to have such an awesome man!

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  6. Dude, I don't know you or Sparkle from Adam or Eve but I know you are a class dude and a real mans man. This one sentence is all that stuck with me

    As a husband I feel like it is my job to make my wife happy in every way that I can.

    Man that right there says it all for me and I am the same way. I will never know or understand what you two go through but that one sentence fuckin rocks man. Class Act and thats what makes a real man.

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