Monday, April 4, 2011

Great Balls of Fire

WARNING: If you are at all easily shocked, offended or super conservative you should probably stop reading right now. 

This last weekend my in laws came into town. They are really great and I always enjoy spending time with them. Saturday we decided to go to the beach so the Husband and his Dad could fish and we could lay out. 

My husband had found a beach that we hadn't been to before and had gotten good reviews so we decided to try something new. 

We just didn't know how new it was going to be. 

We walked over the boardwalk at the beach and immediately noticed that 90% of the people were naked. Very, very naked. 

We went by accident but when we walked on and noticed all the nekkids we also noticed that it wasn't too crowded, there were no screaming kids, and people were fishing from the shore. All a plus. So we decided to stay in spite of the penis free for all. 

We were there for an hour or two and my husband and FIL were in the water fishing and me and the MIL are laying out (in bathing suits, just to be clear) when a very tan man wearing only a tight fitted crop top and a fringed straw hat comes strolling up to us. Basically he asks if it's our first time there and why we're not naked and how we should strip down and get an all over tan. 

Let me just say this... We were sitting. He was not. And he was right on the edge of my towel. And uncircumcised. (first uncircumcised man I've ever seen in person AND he was NOT young at all). Finally, he went on his merry way. 

It was awkward to say the least. 

We laughed about it and moved on. We were there for almost 5 hours and there were way too many penises for my taste but I wasn't wearing my glasses or contacts so thankfully I couldn't see much. 

We were packing up to leave and I put my glasses on (really why did I need to do that?!?) and my MIL points out something interesting...

An old couple GOING AT IT. 

And by going at it I mean her legs were spread WIDE as they could go and he had his face buried in her crotch and his ass in the air. To say the least, we were ALL in shock. And then... 

Old man penetrates. And he is full on sticking it to his little old lady wife. They are not even TRYING to hide or be discreet. Full out on the beach in front of EVERYONE geriatric sex. 

So yeah. That's what I did with my in laws this last weekend. 

What did you guys do!?!?

Sarah Q


  1. I'm pretty sure I would have started screaming.

  2. Oh. My. Gosh.

    I think I would've died.


    Did your hub / FIL see any of this?

  3. Oh My!!! Too funny and akward! ..

  4. That is the best vacation story EVER! I don't think I could have not watched! It's like, awkwardly fascinating and disturbing and surreal all at the same time. :)

  5. Wow. That sounds absolutely terrifying. For what it's worth, that old couple was totally violating the social norms of nude beaches. Sex is verboten, otherwise the beach would get shut down! Yuck, but too funny!

  6. LMAO!!! Oh my goodness... that is SOOOOO funny!!! That's FL for ya! Wow! Thanks for the laugh!

  7. Oh my god! Old people porn! Nooooo!

    I can't even imagine. I am shocked.

  8. Oh my lol. Seeing the nude people might have been interesting for a little bit, but I can't believe those two going at it lol. You did not need to see that.

  9. Wow, there is usually acceptable conduct for nude beaches and getting it on is NOT it. I'm shocked none of your reviews said anything about it being a nude beach! At least you got a story out of it :)

  10. This story is too awesome for words.

  11. WOW! I hail from Vancouver and there is an infamous nude beach called Wreck Beach. A lot of people, families included will go there... I've never heard of THAT happening. Maybe they're just too old to care and it's another thing to cross of their baucket list.


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