Things are Happening

My new favorite time to blog is when I should be doing school work. It is really helping my GPA. Just kidding, I have a great GPA even if I am the worst procrastinator on the face of the planet.

First of all, my great friend over at Bumpy Journey, gave me a great recommendation on a doctor. We have become really great friends in real life over the last few months. Her baby, Oat, is five weeks older than B and we take Kindermusik classes together and do lunch after. I am so thankful for her friendship!

Anyway, at her advice I scheduled an appointment with a new doctor. I got in Monday after calling Friday afternoon (awesome), got my blood work done, and just like I suspected, my thyroid is in a normal range after going off of my medication this last month. We are keeping a really close eye on it to make sure it stays where it needs to.

This means that I can start cycling without delay as long as my cyst is gone by my day 3 ultrasound! I start aygestin tomorrow, for 10 days, and then the official get me knocked up cycle begins!!

I never thought I would be ready this soon after having B (who just turned 9 months. Holy crap time flies). And, honestly, after the labor I went through I did not think I would be able to do it again. Ever.

Part of the reason we decided we're ready again is because I have learned over the last three years that I should not waste precious opportunities. We still have amazing insurance coverage that covers all my ultrasounds, bloodwork, and medications (including follistim and trigger shots). I am not ignorant to how blessed we are to have this coverage and I want to take advantage of it.

Also, who knows when my fertility will take an even bigger nosedive? I do not want to waste precious time and then find out my window has passed. So while I am a little petrified of trying to be pregnant with a toddler, and having a newborn and a toddler at the same time... I would rather have it now than look back 5 years down the road and realize my opportunity passed.

So, I am scared, but I am ready.

I still have some fears about baby number 2. I wonder how I could possibly love another baby as much as I love B (he fills my heart in a way I never thought possible). I am scared that I won't. My best friend assures me my heart will grow.

I am fearful that B will feel neglected (obviously we will do everything in our power for that to not be the case), but I worry about his feelings when he is used to having me and the husband's full attention.

I think these fears are natural, though. I think they are normal (even for fertile women) and I am sure that I will work it out when the time comes.

Right now, though, in this time... I am really excited to be cycling again.

I feel the hope growing with every day that passes.