Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Learning to Breathe

It's been a busy, crazy, hectic, wonderful last few weeks. My best friend came into town to see me and we had a blast! There is nothing quite like shopping with your best friend. My husband tolerates it and does his best, but it's never the same as your girlfriends. We also went sledding in Flagstaff which was hilarious. We all came home a little bit beat up with bruises and scrapes but it was a blast. I was so sad to see her go back to Texas!

The next day (my birthday) my Dad flew in. I am not super close with my Dad, he's been absent most of my life, so I was a little nervous about this visit. But ever since our wedding last Spring I feel like he's making a much bigger effort to be in my life so I am trying to give him credit for that and I try as well. It was a good visit. We did normal stuff... took him to see a few sights of Phoenix and out to eat.We had good visits with both Katie and my Dad but by the end of the 7 days of visitors I was so happy to have my house back and not have to entertain anyone.

I turned 27. I am having a little bit of an age crisis. It just sounds so OLD. Now I know that people in their 40's would probably want to smack me for that... it just really does sound incredibly old to me. I feel like my youth is slipping away from me... I know that sounds melodramatic... but really if you know me, that's nothing new. My husband did well on my birthday, we had lunch at Maggiano's and he got me a HUGE flower arrangement and grilled out delicious burgers for dinner. And chocolate cake of course. :)

I should be starting my second round of Clomid in the next few days. I finished my progesterone this last Saturday (the 23rd) and I am just waiting for that to do its job. Based on how my body reacted last month I should be starting my Clomid Friday or Saturday. I'm taking 100 mg a day now. I am really nervous to see how I will react to it. Last month really no side effects except for one day that I recognized that I wasn't reacting well to things for no reason at all. But this is double the dose so I am a little apprehensive about what kind of crazy I will be. Hope my husband is ready for it. :)

I have been working really hard on being thankful lately. I have so much that other people don't have. I have this amazing husband, and although we DEFINITELY have our moments at the end of the day I would choose him over and over again. So many people don't have that. I have a wonderful house to live in and all my fur babies to spoil. I have family that I love and the most amazing in-laws you could ask for and of course the best friends in the world who put up with me no matter what kind of nuts I am. I am quickly coming to the realization that if the clomid doesn't work than I don't think I want to go any further with fertility treatments. I don't think that I want to go through IUI or IVF. And I don't think I want to adopt. If the clomid doesn't work than I think we will be done trying. I love my husband and I want a baby with him more than anything in the world but I also know that if we don't have one, we have each other and I will still lead this incredibly blessed and wonderful life with him.

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