Obviously, it was something that I lamented over the long 21 months that the husband and I tried to conceive. It was often a battle cry for me, "This isn't FAIR!" and "Why me?!".
Now that I have achieved the goal of getting pregnant and everything seems to be going very well I am still asking the same questions.
I feel it isn't fair that I am here carrying my dream when there are so many of you out there who are not. My heart aches for all of you so much. I think when I was going through infertility myself my heart was aching too much for myself for there to be room for it to ache for all of you. And now I am here, heart breaking that so many of you haven't made it here yet.
I do believe that you will all have your families. I do. With everything in me I know that all of us will end up with our happy families in the end. One way or another. We're too determined and deserving. I just have to believe that this will happen for all of us. One way or another.
I just had to get this out. I had to let you all know that as happy as I am for myself (and make no mistake I am crazy happy for my good luck) I am still thinking of all of you and praying for you every single day. You are always in my thoughts and prayers and I am pulling for each and every one of you.
And for those of us waiting... well I guess I can speak only for myself, but I'm sure many others will agree - as stressed out as we are about our own personal situations, we're (I'm) always thrilled when a fellow infertile finally achieves her dream! And I know (hope) that when I am able to celebrate my own success, they will be cheering for me too! I know I'm beyond excited for you & I have something for you (well for the baby) when I see you! Hugs girlie! And I hope you're feeling better!!!
ReplyDeleteYou really deserve to carry your dream! Everyone does. Your story also gives great hope to others. Seeing it's possible to beat infertility. That it's all worth the struggle.
ReplyDeleteYou deserve this and you should get to live that dream without guilt. Survivors guilt is totally normal. You were part of a club that no one wants to be apart of and somehow you got to leave it.
ReplyDeleteThat being said leave the survivors guilt behind and really enjoy this experience. You waited 21 months for this. It's ok for you to be excited for yourself. It's ok for you to deserve this. It's ok to not have to feel guilty every day. After 21 months you don't want to spend the next 9 feeling guilty for being excited, for loving your baby bump (and the baby growing inside), for doing all the great things pregnant women get to do. You are obviously an incredibly sweet and caring person which is proof of the amazing mother you are going to be. Your friends know that if it was up to you that all of you would be pregnant together.
Thanks for your sweet words. We are all here to support each other whether we are still struggling or a newly pregnant infertile. The support doesn't stop once someone you know achieves their dream.
ReplyDeleteWe are happy for you and have hope that we will one day read our first BFP too.
Thanks for the kind words Sarah. I'm so happy for your that you have found your healthy pregnancy. It gives me a little ray of hope to hold onto that we might make it there as well.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, hearing so many sad stories in the blogosphere makes me think we are all in trouble and that it will never happen for any of us, but then someone announces a successful IUI, Clomid cycle or IVF treatment, and my spirits brighten. This holiday season I heard of three pregnancy announcements from your ladies, and for me that brings nothing by warm wishes and hope.