Today marked a milestone in my life.
Today, I do believe I experienced the most embarrassing moment of my life.
I hope. Please, God, let this be it.
After being a hermit for 9 long days and not leaving my house once (I'm kinda proud of that) I ventured out today. Grocery shopping needed to be done and errands needed to be run.
All was going well until I was in the grocery store, looking at the seafood (for my husband, not me. I hate seafood) when something happened. Something horribly familiar.
I froze in my moment of panic and looked around and realized that I had two choices in front of me. My Coach purse or the floor.
The choice was obvious.
I doubled over and puked all over the floor. I lost my lunch right there in the middle of a crowded grocery store and people were all around. And I couldn't stop.
When I was done I hightailed it. I didn't know what else to do. I just ran. A little old lady started chasing me yelling and asking if I was alright but I was simply too humiliated to stop.
And now.... Now I need to find a new grocery store because obviously I can never go there ever again.
I would just like to let the Universe know that I have officially reached my lifetime cap on embarrassing moments. So, Universe, give the rest you had stored up for me to someone else. I don't need them anymore.