ICLW

It's ICLW time again. If any of you don't know what ICLW is please click on the link on the left hand side of the page (the one with the dog). 

If you're new here to this lil blog Welcome!!

Instead of writing out a whole post about our journey it's all under the about tab at the top of the page.

I'm excited for this month's week of commenting and so excited to get to know some new people and some new blogs!

TAKE THAT, PCOS!!!

The bad blogger award goes to.... ME!!!

This last week or so has been a huge whirlwind and I've barely had time to catch my breath!

Tuesday was the husband and my wedding anniversary but it was also another big day for us. We found out the gender of the lil nug!! :)

Turns out... we're having a BOY!!!

I was truly shocked. I thought with everything in me that we were having a girl. To the point where I got really pretty upset with myself the night before the ultrasound because I had been leaning so hard towards a girl and I did NOT want to be disappointed in any way after all it took for us to get to this point.

So, when the ultrasound tech said it looks like a boy, I was shocked but I was in NO WAY disappointed. It definitely takes some getting used to. If you can't tell I'm super girly (if the hot pink blog didn't clue you in) and I do feel a bit lost thinking about how to raise a boy. But as my husband says, That's what he is there for!

I am so excited and ready to shop! I am also so relieved that the baby looks great and he is measuring right on track to the very day. My ob says that's a little unusual and usually things are either measuring a few days ahead or behind but this baby is just right on time.

I hope that speaks highly of his future punctuality!

At the end of the day, all I can say is:

TAKE THAT, PCOS!!!!!!!!!

Then

In two days my two year wedding anniversary will be here.

It feels like time as flown.

I'll be brutally honest here... the first year was harder than I ever thought it could be. I thought our first year would be so easy because we lived together before we got married. Not the case, my friends.

There were times when I really wondered if we would make it. We had huge challenges and struggles that a lot of people never have to deal with (think clomid).

This second year has had it's challenges but it has truly been easier than the first. I feel like the husband and I have been at such a good place. We've learned a lot about each other and ourselves. We've definitely learned to communicate more effectively and we've learned to be more understanding of the other. We've learned to give each other more grace.

Every single day we choose to love each other. I look at him and think that I would choose this man every single day over and over again, no matter what.

We're definitely not perfect in all that we do but we've come a long way.

I can honestly say that each year with him is better than the last. Each day I wake up next to this man I count myself incredibly blessed. He makes me laugh and listens to my crazy rants, takes incredible care of me and even spoils me with purses and back rubs.

I don't know that I can ask much more than that!

He's also pretty damn cute!

Happy Anniversary, Baby!! I love you more today than I ever thought possible!!

Makes Me Wonder

My Dad was just in town for a visit. 12 whole days.

It was a good visit but having a guest for that long... well, it's a long time!

I have mixed feelings right now. I am all over the place with how I feel. I've never had a great relationship with my Dad. It's been a lot of hurt and hope and disappointment.

I'm slowly but surely trying to find a way to trust that he is trying to have a relationship with me and not wall myself off. After 25 years of being let down... it's not that easy. But I'm trying.

The husband and I went to start our baby registry this last weekend and when we got back to the apartment I was talking to my Dad about all the things we need and how expensive they are.

He told me that he had $1000 set aside for the baby. That he wanted to buy the crib and mattress and crib bedding. He didn't want to just give us money because he wanted to feel like he was getting an actual gift for the baby.

I was shocked. I almost didn't even have anything to say and I finally stuttered out a thank you.

This is the man who once sent me the same DVD 3 years in a row for my birthday while getting my brother things like kayaks. (Ok, I swear I'm not jealous of my brother at all, or materialistic... I was just very hurt at the differences).

This is the man who once (many years ago) refused to lend me $50 when I was short on a bill because he wanted to give money to my brother to pay for his ski trip.

I never asked him for anything after that.

So when out of nowhere he made this announcement I was stunned. And I honestly did not know how to react.

He later told my husband privately that he'd really like us to get a video camera with the rest of the money so we could send him videos of the baby.

This made me cry.

And, yes, I am crying while I write this.

I, literally, don't know who this person is and I have no idea how to react to it at all.

Honestly, a tiny itty bitty part of me is wondering where this person was 28 years ago and why my birth wasn't as momentous. And, maybe I am a tiny bit jealous, too.

But the majority of me is happily stunned that this baby is already so loved and will get the chance at a relationship with my Dad that I never had.

I look forward to seeing how their relationship plays out.

And I find myself wondering if people really can change?

Surf Wax America

I know I haven't been around in awhile and it may still be a bit. There is a lot going on and I am super busy.

But until then, here is this....

MY DAD!! He's here visiting for a few weeks and today I convinced him to take this picture. It makes me laugh so much.

What's made you laugh lately?